Illustrations by Jacob Fernandez
When thinking about waste management, we don’t bat an eye at the cost. It’s something we learn from a very young age as a normal monthly bill that just needs to be paid. We know when it’s due, it’s built into our routines, and we roll the garbage out every other Friday without thinking twice. It’s simply part of life as we know it.
In Washington State, waste isn’t optional. The state sets laws and regulations around what is considered solid or environmental waste, and it must be transported and disposed of in a legal manner. Waste management is considered a public health service. We all participate in it, and we all pay for it gradually, quietly, over time.
Let’s say the average household pays around $30 a month for trash removal. That comes out to $360 a year. Over the span of 40 years, that totals $14,400. But here is where it gets interesting.
If we strip it down to its most basic form, death care is also a form of regulated disposal. The state dictates how a human body must be handled, transported, and ultimately laid to rest. And yet, when it comes time to “dispose” of our own bodies or the bodies of the people we love, we are suddenly upset about the cost.
I feel it is really important to bring this to light because bartering over the disposition of our loved one is something I hope funeral service professionals will never have to do again. I cannot tell you how many times someone has argued with me that cremation at $1,195 is too expensive and asked for a discount. Families asking if they can send in a smaller portion of remains to solidify into stones can they pay less? Or if there will be a holiday special on Natural Organic Reduction. As if the holidays are not hard enough with grief. “Here Dad I got you a discounted service since you passed away during Christmas.”
I believe we are trained to think this way, not because we are soulless, but because there is a lack of education, which is exactly why I’m writing this article. I will do my best to break down the cost and explain why I truly believe we should be charging more for disposition than we currently do and not less. It is funny because the reason I became a Death Educator/Death Doula was because I did not want death to feel like waste management and here I am using this analogy to help in understanding it better.
According to The People’s Memorial Association 2024 price survey, the average cost for direct cremation was $1,685, with prices ranging from $485 to $3,435. The average cost for direct burial was $2,439, with prices ranging from $985 to $5,470. Keep in mind, these are for direct, meaning nothing fancy, no add ons, and no viewings. If you want something custom, it will cost you more. So why the high prices?
Some funeral homes have on-site crematories and handle transportation in-house. Others use a care center or a third party to assist with these services. When you break it down, you are paying for the funeral director ($25 an hour, which is horribly underpaid for the incredible work they do), transportation ($350 for a two person transport, this includes paying the transportation specialist minimum wage, also way less than they deserve), the cremation itself including fuel for the retort (around $250), the temporary container ($10) for the cremated remains to go home in, and the specialized vehicle your body is transported in. These vehicles are highly customized, similar to ambulances, and stocked with appropriate PPE, rolling racks for safe loading and unloading, and specialized cots and tools for navigating unique homes and situations. It all adds up very quickly if you dig into the math.
Then there are the parameters set by the state. The disposition of human remains must be handled in a specific, legal way. You cannot simply bury someone in your backyard (which apparently now it just passed you can, but it is not as easy as it sounds). You need a death certificate and a burial transit permit, and you are limited to a defined set of disposition options. Then there is the issue of capacity as we do not seem to have enough cold storage for all the people we need it for in a crisis (COVID drove this point home). We need more retorts in WA state but because of clean air policies there are no more permits to give. Meaning there are only so many retorts in the area with no forward momentum to get more. This creates stress for mom and pop funeral homes that are trying to survive and here is where my call to action starts to unfold.
I can understand without the educational piece how people can get upset with funeral homes being so expensive, but if we can do a little mental pivot, understand why funeral costs are what they are (but in my opinion should be more) and understand that it will 100% happen in your lifetime, I think we can get somewhere. Now, I will touch on the fact that there are some funeral homes out there that can feel more “sleazy” salesman based. $10,000 gasketed caskets, extra cushioning, memory drawers, leather-bound embossed guest book. Some people want this option and it feels good to them. Just make sure you do your research and if that does not align with you, then do not use them. I digress. Not only will you need this service, but multiple times most likely, if you think about family and possibly friend assistance. Set up a pre-need (Pre-Paid/Pre-Funded Funeral) while you are young working and can afford to put some money toward it. Just like you pay $30 monthly for your trash pick-up, you can add this to your monthly bills and you don’t even have to rush the green bin down to the curb in your slippers because you forgot what day it was. Then guess what? It is paid for! You never “really” have to think of it again and your family does not have to worry about it either. Many people assume they have a lot of time and planning can wait until later in life, but in reality, earlier planning creates the most flexibility and relief for families.
Ideally it would be awesome to have a grassroots bill passed and get legislation involved. If we look at deathcare internationally, there are some really cool things happening. In Germany funeral costs are legally the responsibility of the family but if the family cannot afford these costs they can apply for assistance. Germany has such a strong social welfare system and economic influence they are able to provide funeral assistance programs designed to allow dignified end-of-life arrangements. In the United Kingdom authorities are required to arrange a funeral if no one is willing to step up. These are called Public Health Funerals and are funded by the government. In Japan there is a hybrid model where deathcare is a private responsibility, but with structured government support in the form of fixed payment to help offset the cost.
In Washington State we have a program called the Indigent program. This program helps unclaimed bodies have a proper disposition. It is publicly funded but mostly at a county level. That means local government budgets (tax payer money) is used to cover the costs of these decedents (a person who has died). Support here is extremely limited and the cremated remains will not be returned to you. So for the vast majority of families the full cost remains a private responsibility. If we could somehow pass a state law creating a funding program similar to Medicaid or WA Cares, or even expand existing laws requiring counties to provide more than just indigent services then maybe we can all help each other out. I am not talking about anything real fancy here either, just the basics. And if you want something fancy, then you can always choose to go with a concierge service. But I, for one, would not mind putting my tax money toward helping out a fellow Washingtonian with their final exit from this earth.
This might feel like an unattainable goal but it probably felt the same when human composting was first introduced in the Washington legislature. Contact your representatives in Olympia and voice your concerns. Tell them we have a public health, infrastructure, and dignity issue. Inquire with your local funeral home or Death Doula to talk about options for pre-planning and how you can get a plan in place now. Death is something to be honored, celebrated, and mourned. Not bartered, haggled, and procrastinated.
I honored me in life, I will honor me in death. I am not waste. Not now. Not ever. Not even after I pass.
