In the shadows of the death and dying industry, where compassion meets mortality, lies an often-overlooked narrative of dedication. A key group of unsung heroes, guardians of the grim if you will—the caregivers, hospice workers, funeral directors, and diverse other professionals who navigate the deep waters of death every day. Yet, within their honorable work, a silent epidemic looms: burnout. In their tireless commitment to easing the transfer from this life to the next lies a tale of extraordinary resilience. These amazing individuals face daunting challenges that threaten their well-being yet they continue to serve, undeterred by the demands of their work.
My name is Nicole and I am no stranger to such challenges. I started my career in a facility caring for multiple decedents across Washington. Let’s just say I did not last more than a couple of months and that’s what kickstarted my awareness of what professionals in the death world encounter. Early mornings are followed by late nights, energy drinks, and not enough hours in the day to take care of all the tasks at hand. It was apparent in those months that my mental and physical health was declining and I needed to make a change ASAP. I left the facility and went to work for a chiropractor and although this new place of work was leaps and bounds healthier for me on all levels, I kept getting pulled back like a siren’s song luring pirates into the depths of the sea. Was I crazy to do so? Maybe, yet here I am 5 years later.
This is how Nicole Steinberg’s story Last Responders—Guardians of the Grim began on page 26 of Hard Copy 23. She went on to describe the process of familiarization with the deathcare world, the unique challenges that come with it, and how hard it can be to work in such an under-appreciated yet incredibly necessary industry. Each of the subjects for this story were invited to bring objects from their work and personal lives.
The following is a note from Nicole, originally meant to go at the end of the print article. We decided instead to use it as a way to spread this message further. I also wanted to share the original photos from that day and a little more about the individuals involved. If you’d like to read the whole article in print, you can get a copy of the magazine here.
-Sierra Hartman
Photographer/Editor GCM
Now that you have read this article, I just wanted to touch on this amazing photo shoot day. Sierra invited us to take photos on the third story of an old building. Once a brothel, you could feel the energy as you gazed at the dripping layers of wallpaper and coin-operated heaters that were mounted perfectly on the wall. There could not have been a more perfect location for all of these individuals to meet and take pictures.
After the photo shoot was complete, we all headed to the Red Hot, where we could cheers over the completion of an anxiety-filled day of being seen. One of the individuals looked at me and said, “Nicole, when I woke up this morning and had to get ready for this photo shoot, I cried. I cried because I don’t know who I am outside of my job. When you asked me to bring a hobby piece, I didn’t know what to bring.”
It was just then another individual chimed in and said, “Is that not the whole purpose of Nicole’s article?” It was in that moment I knew this article was bigger than I realized. Thank you to the people who pushed beyond their comfort zone to be a part of this piece, to Sierra and Grit City for allowing us to “be seen,” and to the reader that has read all the way through and given your time to these amazing selfless individuals.
Until next time, Tacoma.
Venice Harris-Quade – Mortician
“I chose the casket key because lately I’ve been serving families who have chosen traditional burial. I’m a licensed director, Crematory operator, alkaline hydrolysis operator, and pre-need insurance agent so it was hard to narrow it down to one object to represent them all. My favorite thing to do is read because I feel, like so many other people, I’m in a never ending quest for knowledge.”
Katey Houston – Undertaker
“The camera keeps me ready to catch all the moments worth remembering (and a few that probably aren’t). And Dolly? She’s my daily reminder to handle life’s tough times with big hair, bigger humor, and a heart that’s always open. If you’re gonna face the hard stuff, you might as well have a great soundtrack!”
Eve – Funeral Director
“Working in deathcare, I find myself drawn to my more light hearted hobbies. K-pop and crochet are my fun and creative outlets.”
Brie Smith – Funeral Director
My items (jacket and shoes) were both hand-me-downs from my parents in the ’90s and my nephew a few years ago. They’re meaningful to me because, quite frankly, nothing matters more to me than family and, by proxy, the relics I’m able to collect while they’re here with me. The skelly dog was a nod to my future dreams of offering terramation to people’s pets.
Kerry Decker – Funeral Director
Ever since I was a little kid, my dream superpower was flight. In college I began skydiving, which progressed to wingwalking, and has now morphed into the desire to obtain my private pilot license. The objects I chose were my aviation headset and logbook. The thing I enjoy most about these extreme activities is the feeling of freedom that they grant. When you are up in the air 6,000+ feet, the whole world looks different. It is quite easy to forget about the daily stressors and get lost in how beautiful the Pacific Northwest is. It’s also just really, really cool to play around with an airplane.
Jenna Goldner-Minichiello – Funeral Director, Intern Embalmer (soon to be licensed)
I have been in the funeral industry for almost six years now and I entered this field after losing my dad at 17, who was my best friend and essentially sole parent. I brought a trocar for my work object and a shark for my hobby object. A trocar is used in embalming for aspirating fluids from cavities and injecting fluids into cavities; they come in different sizes, but the one I am holding is for the thoracic/abdominal area.
Sharks are my favorite animal and I was able to swim in the open ocean with three different types of sharks, no cage! My preserved shark, Gerry, was given to me by a coworker a couple years ago as a gift. I truly love my job with all of my heart and am so thankful I have the opportunity to do what I do.
Jake Miller – Pre-planning Advisor, Owner/Operator
As a pre-planning advisor, most of my day is spent talking with different families about having their final wishes set up ahead of time, primarily for terramation. Having the ability to help people talk about and set up such a tough and sensitive subject is a great blessing to witness the burden be lifted. Not only that, but especially talking to families about terramation has been such a drastic difference from traditional conversations as so many people are excited to have a new option that mirrors who they are as a person.
I selected my hobby items (a shovel and a golf club) as I had originally started in the funeral field at 16 years old as a grave digger/removal technician so it represents my roots, as it were, in joining this honorable profession. The golf club, as most can guess, is one of my favorite pastimes as Washington weather allows. I find it to be a mostly peaceful and beautiful environment to enjoy either with friends or just by myself.
