“I’m from Seattle,” Says Liar from Shoreline was the first headline I came across from Seattle-based site The Needling. I won’t even lie, I snorted as iterations of “I’m from Tacoma,” Says Liar from Fircrest/University Place/Etc. flashed through my mind.
On a regular basis they dish out the kind of jabs that are so wrong they’re right. Allow me to share a few of my favorite examples:
Self-proclaimed to be “Seattle’s Only Real Fake News” site, The Needling rips on our historically more celebrated sister to the north on the regular, but also neighboring areas. In fact, they recently gave our beloved Tacoma this roasting:
The article, as you ought to expect, only gets worse from there. An excerpt:
Since its inception in the nineties, Seattle’s Gum Wall at Pike Place Market has become one of the region’s most famous tourist fixtures. Long envious of the beloved biohazard to the north, Tacoma has recently unveiled its own community-sourced art attraction: The Used Band-Aid Wall.
With Tacoma’s own bile inducing pitstop, the city hopes it will quickly climb the rankings of the world’s germiest tourist attractions.
“The byproduct of your cuts and scrapes can now be woven into the fabric of the city of Tacoma,” said Used Band-Aid Wall spokesperson Ted Mazzagatti while ripping a hair-laden bandage from his arm for the wall. “We welcome the injured from all walks of life to apply their gooey Band-Aids, hairy Band-aids, filthy Band-Aids squeamishly scraped from the bottom of your shoe–they’re all welcome on our brand new art installation!”
When it comes to satire, I’m of the belief you’re either wholly in our out. If the 206 and beyond are up for grabs then we in the 253 area must be as well. And really, if you can’t handle a few jabs intermittently aimed at Tacoma this might not be the town for you. Buck up and consider joining in the fun.
All are welcome to submit future headlines regarding our area to Submit@TheNeedling.com. If you have any particular Tacoma roasts to share send them, but also feel free to drop them in a comment below. We’re all ears.
Images and other whatnots shared with consent from The Needling.We sent a few emails. It’s cool. Go give ’em a follow on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter if that’s somehow still your thing.