7 Types of Tacoma Weather

Many think of Northwest weather as a wet, grey homogenous blob. Not so! This Northwest native will tell you it changes by the minute and, good or bad, it’ll keep you on your toes.

On great days it’ll remind you why you live here, but on bad days it’ll make you appreciate passing through the warm threshold of your home that much more. Either way, we all love to get outside and experience it!

1. Sun Glare West bound on WA-16: Just when you think it’s safe to drive, the super shiny road has other plans! It’ll assault your eyeballs the way only a wet oily road can, and you’ll learn to do that instinctive move to shield your eyes. This fiendish foe’s weaknesses include polarized sunglasses, visored hats, and extra caution given on the road.

2. Piddles:  How does all this water get in my house? Aaaarrrggg! Once again, despite your best efforts, small splotches of water brought in on shoes, raincoats, and umbrellas have found their way into your home. Along with it comes pine needles, dirt, and God knows what else. Oh, the horror!

3. Hatnados: This vile wind picks up all manner of headwear that is never to be seen again. Strap down your beanies, scarves, headphones, baseball and top hats, or they shall be captured by the swirling void and blown to a secret valley hidden in the Cascades, known as the Valley of the Lost Hats.

4. Sleet Sleet Motha F***er!: Legend has it that the last time Lil Jon performed “Get Low” at the Tacoma Dome, he ascended into the clouds and the water from his pimp cup rained down on all of Tacoma. That day everyone got crunk.

5. Slushies: It’s like someone put a finger on a slushie machine in the sky and just held it there. It’s a good thing I brought my cone and cherry syrup!

6. Rain Shaming Tacoma Newbies: AKA: something longtime Tacomans do whenever they see an umbrella.

“An umbrella? How cute. This sprinkle doesn’t bother me at all! In fact, raincoat? Who needs that either? This might as well be summer! 43 degrees, that’s nothing!”

7.  UFO Clouds Over Mt. Rainier: Holy crap! Get out your phone and take a picture! The aliens have landed on Mt. Rainier! Oops, wait, no. Those are just lenticular clouds. Or are they?!

Images by Colin Andersen

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